Tag Archives: Family

12/04/2023
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christmas

Advent Devotion Week 1 Day 1: A Season of Preparation

For the church this season I am writing devotions. This morning I decided to post them on my blog as well… God bless.

Sunday — A season of preparation

Reflection —

My younger brother runs marathons. He intensely trains for them in the months, weeks, and days leading up to race day. Sometimes, those races involve particularly difficult obstacles, like running up a mountain, or in Death Valley where the heat coming off the asphalt can melt your shoes while you run. He trains accordingly: running up and down hills, lifting weights, or even working out in the sauna to increase his heat resistance. In training season, he eats a certain way to fuel and prepare his body. Paul draws a comparison between running in races and the spiritual training for our lives of following Christ. He explains that all athletes are disciplined in their training to win a prize that will fade, but that followers of Christ train for the purpose of receiving a reward that will last forever.

In the New Testament, Timothy is a young pastor who was discipled by Paul for ministry work. In Paul’s first letter to the young pastor, he includes a powerful bit of instruction: “…train yourself for godliness;  for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” (1 Timothy 4:7–8) We live in a culture that is obsessed with the physical, but Paul is telling us that physical fitness is far less vital than spiritual fitness. He states that it is “valuable in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” In the ancient church, the seasons of Lent and Advent were seen as times of intensified training leading up to the big day.

The ancient church believed wholeheartedly in preparing spiritually for major spiritual events.They used the seasons like Lent (the 40 days preceding Easter) and Advent as times of preparation. God stepped from heaven to earth to save us from our sins. He did it because He loved us when we did not love Him. Preparing for Christmas during the weeks that precede it involves more than simply decorating trees and listening to Christmas music to get yourself into the spirit of the season. It is spiritual training for celebrating God’s arrival in our world.

You might wonder how we train spiritually. Everywhere you look there are advertisements for fitness gadgets and meal plans to reshape your flesh, but how do you reshape your soul? There are plenty of ways to do it and still more ways that don’t help or make things worse. Daily prayer, reading the scriptures, reflecting on God’s love for us and His work to provide our salvation, worship, fellowship with the church, serving, and many other practices are prescribed in the scripture as exercises for spiritual fitness.

One passage in particular that will inform our Advent devotions going forward is found in 1 John 4:19-21. John tells us that the reason we love like Christ is because He first loved us. He goes on to say that loving God leads to love others. This is one vital component of spiritual training. When we focus on the love of God, it results in loving others and everything that entails. We will be spending the next few weeks gazing at the love of God as a means of training for race day, for our walk with Jesus, and for eternity. Ultimately, we know what love is because of Christ. 1 John 3:16-20 tells us that Christ freely laying down His life for us. The added benefit of understanding this perspective is that it frees you to engage in training out of love for Him and a desire to be closer to your Savior, rather than out of obligation, guilt, or shame.

Scripture — 1 John 3:16-20, 1 John 4:19-21 (read 7-21 if you have time), 1 Timothy 4:8, 1 Corinthians 9:24-7, Matthew 6:31-34, Lamentations 3:22-23

Readings —

I remember visiting Indonesia and speaking with a Hindu leader and a Muslim leader.  They would say, “We have different paths that lead us to spiritual fulfillment, that lead us to God.” And they said, “We respect your path. You respect our path and we will all go different ways. Together we are one and we’ll end up in the same place.”

I looked at them and I said, “Well, let me make sure I understand. You’re saying that basically you picture God at the top of a mountain and we’re all at the bottom of a mountain. And I may take one path to get to God and you may take another path up the mountain to get to God, but in the end, we’ll all eventually end up at the same place?” They both had big smiles on their face and agreed with my assessment.

I looked at them and said, “Well, if that’s the way it is, let me ask you one question: What if the God at the top of the mountain decided he was going to make his way down the mountain to us, and he came to bring us up the mountain himself?” And they said, “Well, that would be wonderful.” And I said, “That’s what the God of the Bible did. Let me tell you about who Jesus really is. It’s not about trying to find our way to God. Jesus has come to us and he says, “I am the way.”

From Radical by David Platt

A quick note on this reading — It is easy to fall into the belief that training toward Godliness is climbing the mountain. Christians often fall into this trap of believing that they can do good works and earn their way to God. It’s just not possible. God came down the mountain to us. Training spiritually doesn’t earn our way to Him. It makes us capable of knowing Him completely. — Erik

God’s ultimate goal for us, however, is that we be truly conformed to the likeness of His Son in our person as well as in our standing… Jesus did not die just to save us from the penalty of sin, nor even just to make us holy in our standing before God. He died to purify for Himself a people eager to obey Him, a people eager to be transformed into His likeness… This process of gradually conforming us to the likeness of Christ begins at the very moment of our salvation when the Holy Spirit comes to dwell within us and to actually give us a new life in Christ. We call this gradual process progressive sanctification, or growing in holiness, because it truly is a growth process.

From Transforming Grace by Jerry Bridges

Prayer Guide —

A — Take time to express adoration to God for His amazing love for you. Talk to Him about Christ coming down to us because we cannot climb up to Him.

C — Spend time reflecting on the ways you have fallen short in your walk with Jesus. In particular, reflect on the times and ways you have neglected your training for Godliness.

T — Thank God for the amazing truth that before you even confessed your sins, He had already forgiven you through the death and resurrection of Jesus. Thank Him for the incarnation

S — Pray for the coming weeks and the time of preparation you are embarking on. Ask God to help you tune out the noise and stress of the season that will draw you out of your training for Christmas. Pray for Him to reveal His love for you more completely and fully.

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10/20/2022
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Christianity, Uncategorized

Building Bridges to Grow Less Lonely

Originally Published in the Mountaineer 10/19/22

John Donne, the English poet-scholar, wrote: “No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main…” The poem goes on to explain that every man lives a life dependent on those around him. He needs others to thrive and survive from day to day.

At the face of it, this is a true statement. We need each other for various aspects of our lives. On every level of our lives, we require some connection to those around us for food, supply, support, encouragement, etc.

While researching a passage from the writings of King Solomon this week, I came across a comment on this idea that is relevant to our lives, particularly the culture we live in today. Though we all need each other to maintain the lives we live, many of our innovations have created the sense that we can isolate further and further away from the rest of the world.

Many people would much rather receive a text message than a phone call, mainly because it’s an easier and more convenient way to communicate. We have friends we can keep in touch with via social media without ever having to see or speak to them. We don’t have to shop anymore because Amazon will deliver to our houses or we can have our grocery orders brought to our cars. When we do shop, we can choose self checkout and avoid the headache of talking with the cashier. Take some time to watch families in restaurants and other public settings.

It is depressingly common to see one or more people sitting together, staring at their phones. Everything in our lives is making it easier and easier to simulate living as an island. Living in our own bubble like this lowers social pressures and expectations. It makes life easier and frees us from the headache of dealing with people. Many people embrace this new, isolated life.

Surveys have found that each successive generation is more and more inclined to choose isolation. It’s important to understand that this is not isolated to younger generations. Isolation is common throughout our culture, with the majority of Americans reporting that they have no close friends at all. Those friends they do have are not the sort of people that they talk about deep, personal issues with. There is an entire industry centered around talking to strangers that you pay to talk about your problems.

The problem with these trends is that they are contrary to our design as humans. We are social creatures. We need each other. Social isolation, though easier, is significantly less healthy. Loads of research has demonstrated that increased time spent on social media or staring at screens is associated with anxiety, depression, loneliness, and all sorts of other negative psychological traits.

While reading Solomon’s philosophical reflections, I encountered the most obvious answer to this growing social problem. 3,000 years ago, while writing about workaholism, Solomon explained that close relationships in every aspect of life improves everything. Family, friends, spouses, children, neighbors, work friends, and all the rest are what makes life good. They are a gift from God. King Solomon saw a fundamental truth, that we are losing sight of today: we need each other.

If every man is becoming an island, then what the world needs most right now is bridges. Years of talking with people as a pastor has made me confident that, while most people want to isolate to some degree, most people are also very lonely.

The solution is to do hard things. Building bridges is difficult. Going where people are and changing our life patterns to connect to the world around us is incredibly difficult. Many of us don’t know where to start. I would suggest church as an easy solution. Volunteering is also a powerful option. Attending public events, like the kind that the library offers weekly, create space for building bridge connections to others. The hardest part is admitting we need each other and taking the first steps to reach out to the islands around us.

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10/12/2022
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Discipleship

How to Maintain Prayer and Study Habits for Spiritual Growth

“I struggle to remember to pray, read my Bible, or do anything else to grow spiritually. I start strong and then fall off.” Do you ever feel like keeping your spiritual efforts just melt away when life gets busy?

Do you ever struggle with daily spiritual disciplines? Why is it so hard to read and pray daily? How do you overcome these struggles?

Maintaining daily spiritual disciplines usually starts off well, when you are motivated and excited to do it. After a few days, it wains, and eventually falls off the radar completely. It is especially frustrating when you talk to other believers who seem to know everything and have mastered their spiritual life and calling. When you compare yourself to how you perceive others it is easy to get discouraged.

Some Good News

The truth is that most of us struggle with this. The fact that you’re struggling isn’t inherently bad, because struggling involves you trying in the first place. If you didn’t care, that would be a much bigger issue and a more difficult one to deal with. Apathy is a far worse condition that struggling. I would rather be discouraged over my lack of spiritual fervor than apathetic to my spiritual condition. 

The stoic philosopher, Epictetus, wrote that most men would be horrified to lose their eyesight or their hearing, but are indifferent to their souls becoming calloused to the point that they don’t care for their own spiritual condition. He describes this state as madness, because your soul is your most valuable possession. If you care for the condition of your soul, you are in a far better situation than you realize. 

If you find yourself discouraged with your struggle in this area, I would suggest reading Romans 7, where Paul discusses his struggle with himself. The only hope he had in the midst of that wrestling was the knowledge that Jesus died to redeem us and that our struggle with sin is not futile.

I would argue that this is the solution to the larger issue of struggling with the state of our prayer lives or Scripture reading or anything else. As we focus on Jesus, we stay on the path toward becoming like him.

We may stumble and fail, but when we get up and continue we remain in him. Driving in that direction over the long term will result in slow growth and improvement. The real key to spiritual life and growth is constant focus on Jesus. That is it. 

How can focusing on Jesus be the solution?

“Isn’t that part of the problem with not praying or studying?” When I fall off of my spiritual disciplines, it is usually because I allow my focus to wander to something else. So, how does focusing on Jesus help me when losing focus on him is the problem? This is the truth of the matter and I agree that it appears to be a bit of a catch 22.

That does not mean we ought to give up, because in giving up we are abandoning our soul’s condition. Instead, we must look for the things God has given to us to help us maintain our spiritual health. 

God knows we are going to struggle with ourselves. Paul describes struggling with our flesh, or sinful nature. Part of us will pull us away from God all the time.

God knows we struggle, he gives us the Holy Spirit to prompt us and strengthen us. He also gives us folks whose job it is to help us grow spiritually. 

How Jesus taught his disciples grow.

When Jesus did ministry he had a crowd of students following him, watching, listening, and asking questions. They were learning to imitate him. This is how we were meant to become like Jesus. We look at his life and imitate it.

The problem is that Jesus isn’t physically with me to help me learn. That makes it challenging, to say the least. He overcomes this by putting men and women in our lives who have advanced beyond our spiritual state. We can follow, ask questions, imitate, and grow by imitating then, while they are imitating Christ.

Most folks who struggle with their growth or the spiritual practices that promote growth don’t have anyone they are connected to in order to learn to be like Jesus. When we have this sort of relationship we will grow through sharing life with that person.

Mark’s gospel depicts this style of training over and over again. Jesus takes his disciples with him as he lives life. They watch and learn. They ask questions. They learn over the course of time by imitating as a byproduct of spending time together. 

Finding a Spiritual Training Partner

The other element that I spoke about last week, that was common in the ancient world and we see in Jesus’ teaching is partnering up. Having another believer to engage with on the same level to discuss Scripture or our spiritual struggles or even to keep us accountable for our spiritual disciplines, guides us toward consistency.

It’s a little like having a gym partner. I was more consistent working out when I had a gym partner to meet up with daily. A fellow believer, with whom I can establish accountability and engage in discussion about my spiritual life, will help me to grow.

Mutual encouragement and training together is part of how we as believers were meant to grow. Generally when we struggle with our spiritual efforts, we lack these sorts of relationships as well. 

Adding community that encourages us to grow spiritually, to focus on Jesus when we fall, and who we can help in return creates a better, more enjoyable and fulfilling life in Christ. It also builds a structure around us that helps us to be consistent in growth. 

The biggest struggle with this sort of external spiritual support is establishing it. We must ask. That is hard, particularly in a culture where religious aspects of life are encouraged to remain internal. We don’t like externalizing our deeper struggles. This is a huge hurdle to overcome. However, it is important because these relationships are the master key to spiritual growth and consistency in our disciplines. 

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09/17/2022
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Six Practical Steps to Put Our Faith, Spirituality, and Relationships Back On Track— Why Do People Feel So Lonely? Part 3

The first two parts of this series have dug into the source of separation we experience in our lives. We looked at how God designed people for community and how sin has created barriers to our basic connections with God and others.

Life has a way of wearing us down and isolating us. How do we get back to our created design?

This series is a short side trip on a larger exploration of overwork in our lives. You may be asking yourself why loneliness and the fall are a part of that discussion. I believe the answer to this can be found in the writing of a French Philosopher named Blaise Pascal.

Pascal was a child prodigy, mathematician, physicist, inventor, philosopher, writer, and Catholic theologian. He formulated a number of interesting arguments regarding the existence of God that are still debated hotly today. One idea, in particular, applies to our discussion of work and how it tends to get out of whack.

“There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of each man which cannot be satisfied by any created thing but only by God the Creator, made know through Jesus Christ.”

Pascal

That hole is a product of our design being frustrated as a result of the fall. We are made for connection to God. We can try to fill that vacuum in our hearts with all sorts of things.

Work, in particular, is a popular choice. We were designed to work and create. It scratches part of our itch. The problem is that work scratches the itch for a moment, but it comes back worse later. The more we put work in the place of God to make ourselves feel fulfilled, the emptier we are. It’s a little like scratching a mosquito bite. The more you scratch, the worse it itches. Eventually you end up raw and bleeding, but it is still itchy.

The only real solution is to fill the void with relationship with God. That relationship should impact every other part of our lives. Our family, friendships, work, and neighbor relationships will all be impacted by walking with Jesus in our lives. In addition, our work lives cannot help but be impacted by learning to follow Jesus’ teachings and his Spirit’s work reshaping our hearts/minds.

This is the reason Jesus came and died on the cross. He took punishment for our sins and revealed God to us through himself. We are made new through him. Those who walk with Jesus are slowly remade into what we were meant to be. We learn from him and he works in us to reshape our hearts.

These are easy ideas to present, but what does it mean in practical terms?

Follow Jesus.

When a student followed a rabbi in the ancient world it sharing their lives. Disciples would spend all of their time with rabbis. They would share their life. They would observe them in every aspect of life, whether it involved serving the poor or teaching. Watching led to imitating their teachers.

This is the idea behind following Jesus. We learn to be like him by reflecting on how he dealt with life. One aspect of his life was work. He frequently rested. He often stepped away to spend time in prayer. Sometimes he disappeared and avoided crowds so he could regroup.

Pay attention to your “warning lights.”

Every modern car is overloaded with warning lights in the dashboard. They tell you when the car is overheating or when something has gone wrong that needs repairing. You ignore those warning lights at your own risk.

We have similar “lights” that flash to get our attention. I first clued into this idea when I found myself getting cranky and irritable constantly in my early years of ministry and marriage. I spoke with my pastor about it and he explained to me that anger rises out of other feelings, like hurt or frustration. It is not the problem in and of itself.

The trick is to figure out where it was coming from. If we start getting cranky constantly, something is wrong. We may need to rest or spend time with out loved ones or talk about our problems. Whatever it is, those warning lights let us know something is out of whack in our emotional state, relationships, or spiritual life.

Set your priorities and objectives based on his priorities.

When Jesus saves us from our sins, we come under his lordship. He is the boss in our lives, which seems fair because he is God and he bought our redemption by dying for us. Taking time in the morning, midday, and evening to stop and talk/listen to him. We should review his word and listen to him. Our daily goals and schedule should be set based on his direction.

This isn’t a one time thing. We tend to forget, so we need to come back to it daily. It’s sort of like navigating with a map and compass. It is valuable to stop and get your bearings regularly so you know where you are. That way if you drift off course, frequently checking your bearings keeps you from getting too far off course.

Take Sabbath regularly.

God intended for us to take time off to enjoy life. This means resting, spending time with God, spending time with family, and enjoying life. It isn’t some boring restriction from doing anything, even enjoyable things.

Sabbath is taking a day a week to enjoy life. There will be times when you must skip a sabbath. When the Jews were fighting for independence from the Persians, a small army was slaughtered because it was attacked on the Sabbath. They did not fight back because it was the Sabbath. Afterwards the religious scholars agreed that they could ignore sabbath to save their own lives.

The trick is, the easier you make it to skip the Sabbath, the more often you will skip it. The commandment says that we are to keep it holy. That means we set it apart and preserve it as different and belonging to God. Please note: Sabbath is the day you take it. It is not necessarily Saturday or Sunday.

Surround yourself with people who have mastered working in a way that reflects God’s design for life.

The best strategy I can offer is to find people who do this well and spend time with them. The more people like that influence you, the more you will learn new habits. Ask them questions. Find people to keep you accountable and ask you pointed questions about your priorities and time use. There are a few good reasons for this.

First, you will naturally start to look like the people you associate with regularly. It is a strange truth about people that we tend to imitate those we surround ourselves with. This is one reason the scriptures tell us to gather as the church more often. We change each other.

Second, in those circles you will be able to get an outside perspective that is (hopefully) seasoned with real wisdom. You cannot see every angle. Finding wise men to give you perspective and input is vital.

Finally, without accountability it is difficult to maintain high standards in life. You need people who know you well enough and know enough about life to call you out when you drift.

Model a life you want your kids or those around you to live.

We all grow up to imitate our parents in one way or another. We will wind up with their mannerisms, methods of arguing, work philosophies, ways of coping with problems, etc.

Not everything will transfer to your kids, but workaholism has a habit of passing from one generation to the next. If you want your kids to cheat on their spouse with their job or orphan their own kids in the name of long work hours, then model that. I recommend imitating Christ in your work strategies.

There are a million other little things you can do to manage your work life better. These are only a few and they center around the ideas I presented in the first two installments: We are designed to be in relationship with God and others; and sin has thrown up barriers.

By following Jesus in these areas of life, praying and seeking his direction, prioritizing based on his teachings/direction, and surrounding yourself with people whose community will shape you in positive ways you are leaning on the core of who we are created to be.

In addition, by walking with Jesus in these aspects of life, he fills your heart and changes you. This means you are returning to your created design and God is working in you to bring that change about.

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09/13/2022
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Why Are People So Lonely? Part 2: How The Fall Broke Community

When the fall took place and the world became broken, our basic ability to live in community with each other and God.

You are surrounded by people all of the time. You have hundreds of Facebook friends, work friends, kids, a spouse, and everything else… So why are you still lonely? If we are designed to live in community, why is it so unsatisfying? Why do friendships and relationships break so easily? Why is knowing God so hard?

In part 1, we looked at how God designed us to be connected to each other and to God. It’ is part of our very nature of be in relationship with each other. Without it, we dry out and die inside, like a fish out of water. If that’s true, shouldn’t relationships come easy to us? Shouldn’t it be like fish, who swim by nature? Why doesn’t it come naturally to us?

In chapter 3 of Genesis we find the answer to these questions. It’s important to understand that this section of the Bible is “the problem” that the rest of the Bible addresses. Everything after chapter 3 is the story of God fixing the broken state of our world.

In chapter three the fall takes place. Everything is broken. Eve is tempted and disobeys God. Adam ate too, but his sin is bigger than simple disobedience. The text indicates that he is right there when the temptation and fall happen. He watches, listens, and remains a passive observer. In many ways this is the is still the spiritual shortfall of men. They remain passive in their families. Often this involves “checking out” of their relationship with their spouse, parenting, and the community. It is the reason I can open with the joke about the miracle of Jesus having 12 friends in his 30s. We hide at work or in our man cave. Proper community demanded that Adam catch Eve before she fell. 

After the the text says that their eyes were opened and they realized they were naked. Shame had entered the world. Shame prompted the creation of barriers. People began to hide themselves from each other. They also hid from God. It is easy to miss the big truth here: We experience loneliness and isolation because we were made to live in community with God and each other. The fall created distance in those relationships. 

Often we experience distance in our relationships because shame, fear, a history of abuse, or social norms that push us to hide our true selves from each other. Many men live lonely lives in silence. They lack significant relationships with other men and have no idea how to find them. Some men struggle with sin or pain but are unwilling to engage others to create meaningful relationships. Vulnerability is hard and socially unacceptable. One of the best things I learned as I grew into the pastoral role was that if I was willing to admit my own imperfections and speak of how Christ set me free, folks were far more likely to open up to me regarding their own struggles. If we all pretend to be perfect, no one is safe to admit they aren’t. Without being willing to engage with each other openly, close community isn’t possible. Like Adam and Eve, the “fig leaves” we use to cover ourselves up will not fool God, who sees to the core of us. We need to confess to him, and each other, in order to experience real community.  

The trick is that the whole thing is extraordinarily risky. Talking about and sharing the real, substantial aspects of our lives is the master key for engaging in fulfilling community.  

Part 3 of this series will look at the solution to the problem of separation in our relationships…

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09/13/2022
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Why Do People Feel So Lonely? Part 1: We Are Made To Live In Community

The first step in understanding why we feel so alone in life is to grasp that we were designed to live in community with God and each other.

“Nobody talks about Jesus’ miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30’s.” 

The seeds of the spiritual condition that has isolated us from each other began in Genesis. The account takes place over seven days, which is important because the number 7 in Hebrew thought is associated with completion or perfection.

Over half of all Americans report that they are lonely. The same survey found that nearly half of all responders reported that the relationships they do have are simply not meaningful. We live in a time when we are more connected to the people around us and the rest of the world in general than we have every been in history. Phones, text messaging, video phones, email, and everything else are marketed as the cure to establishing meaningful connection with others. The problem is that convenient contact cannot fix the deeper issue within us that makes us lonely. 

There is another “7” in the account that most  folks miss. 7 times he observes that the created thing is “good.” The pattern of “good” statements is not associated with the end of each day. Rather, with the completion of various components of the creation. The first time takes place with the creation of light, which is good in and of itself. Second with the separation of the heavens, earth, sea, and land. The significance of this stage is the divisions of the observable parts of creation. The third instance happens once the land is covered with plant life, which brings the land to completion. The fourth took place in relation to the skies coming to completion with the stars, moon, and sun being separated. 

Each of the 7 good statements accompanies something being competed or brought to its full state. The skies weren’t complete until the celestial bodies were placed and filled the heavens. Then God declared them “good.” 

It is important to note that the word “good” here is loaded to overflowing with meaning. Some translators render it “beautiful” because that is part of the flavor of the idea. It also carries an ethical connotation. The creation was created good. It glorified God and operated in proper order. 

When we arrive in chapter 2 we see Adam doing what God created him to do. He works and cares for the creation. He tends the garden. Work is part of what Adam does as a natural extension of who he is. Incidentally, Adam was not made to tend the garden. The garden was made for him. He did not live to work. He worked because work is part of who we are as beings created in God’s image. It is a gift and we see that gift in the original created order. It only becomes otherwise when the fall sets everything off its created order.  

Something else happens in Chapter 2 that is significant: God observes that it is “not good” for Adam to be alone. That is huge for several reasons. First, it is an indication that Adam’s state of aloneness is incomplete. Whereas he declared other parts of the creation “good” when they came to completion, God sees that Adam is incomplete without community. 

One of the big reasons for this “incompleteness” is found in the nature of God, in whose image Adam was made. The apostle John repeatedly identifies “love” as quality inherent to God’s very nature. One way we see this manifest is in the Trinity. Love is unusual because in order for it to exist, it must be aimed at t something. I love my wife, kids and cookies. I cannot love without an object. The Trinity is a part of God’s loving nature. He is the only eternal being having created everything, including time and space. Therefore, for God to love he must be in community with himself. In the Trinity we see God the Father in community with and loving the Son and the Sprit. The Son loves the Father and the Spirit. The Spirit loves the Father and Son. They love and are in community with each other. This is central to the very nature of God. Adam was incomplete because he is made in God’s image, but lacks an equal to love. This is illustrated by the first task Adam undertakes when God sets out to complete Adam. He names all of the animals, which displays his “lordship” or rule over them. For ancient Jews, the act of naming someone or something displayed authority. Ultimately this process reveals that none of the creatures is a “fit helper.” Part of the reason for this is that none is his equal. He rules over them and therefore cannot experience proper community with them. They might provide a type of companionship, but they cannot “complete” him. This makes the choice to make Eve from his rib significant. She is part of him. 

It’s easy to make treat this passage as if it is only about marriage. It is not. Certainly marriage is central to the text. However, when we look at the larger collection of ideas in scripture we don’t find the idea that people are incomplete or lesser as a result of singleness. I would argue that marriage is an important part of life and the counterpart of a wife can bring people to completion, but it is not everything. Community is the larger principle behind this text. We are made to be connected to each other and it is not good for man to be alone. 

There is another idea to be found in this text that is easy to miss. Adam had companionship of sorts with the animals. He also had companionship with God Himself. If we read the full Eden account we find the idea that Adam enjoyed a very personal, face to face, relationship with God. This was also part of what he was designed to experience. However, finding community in other humans was necessary for his completion. We were designed to be in community with God AND each other. 

At the end of the account of Eve’s creation and their union, we find a simple statement that can easily be overlooked. The text mentions that they pair was “naked and not ashamed.” This is vital to understand why we often experience loneliness even when surrounded by others. The nakedness of the pair points to their openness. There was nothing to hide or be ashamed of. 

This is the first step for understanding why community in work and personal lives is such a big deal. We need to know that we were made to be in community. It goes to the heart of our design as creatures. It is part of how we were created in God’s image. In addition, we were made to be open, with nothing to hide. 

Without that openness and connection, we cannot feel connected. Whenever we try to fill that part of our life with anything other that connection to God and each other, we make our emptiness worse.

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08/30/2022
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How to Create a Healthy Balance with Your Work

Does your daily stress make you feel like everything is on fire around you? Have you tried to get it under control over and over again, only to find yourself back to your old patterns and even more hopeless than you were before?

Do you ever feel like work related stress has taken control of your life? Do you routinely get home at the end of the day ready to collapse in front of the TV for a few hours of zoning out before sleeping restlessly, only to do it all over again tomorrow? Do you live for the weekends, only to find you’re too tired to do anything when they arrive?

Americans have a toxic relationship with work. Stress consumes all of our time and energy, leaving nothing behind for us to enjoy with our families. We were not meant to live this way. God designed us to enjoy our lives and our work. So why is it all so out of whack?

This Sunday we looked at the first chunk of Ecclesiastes 4. The philosophy book takes a practical look at how our lives get out of whack and how we can put things in the proper order again.

This week we looked at the various ways our work takes over our lives. Next Sundy we will dig into the solution that God offers us for getting things back into the proper order.

You can listen on our sermon audio page or as a podcast through Apple Podcasts. It will be available later this week.

You can also watch it on our Facebook page.

If you have questions or comments, leave them in the comment section and I will try to answer them during a deep dive livestream next week. You can also email your questions.

I’ll be posting follow up articles looking at different aspects of this week’s message .Please consider subscribing to my blog or asking to be added to our email list. Also, if this material helps you let us know or share it with a friend.

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11/04/2019
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Jesus, Uncategorized

Christmas Music In November and the Apocalypse

This morning, in an effort to recognize the first week of November, I played Christmas music loudly on the stereo in our living room. My wife was driven nuts by it and repeatedly admonished me about the inappropriateness of starting Christmas 2 months early. I didn’t point out that I was playing Christmas music a couple weeks after stores started selling Christmas junk, but I digress. I will confess that I am not a rabidly cheerful Christmas guy, but I love driving my wife nuts. Also, it clicked in my head that there’s a cool parallel to what I am preaching on this morning. You see, my sermon prep and work life have been very difficult and emotional this week. I did a funeral for a friend yesterday and am preaching on 2 Peter 3:8-14 this morning. My friend was a believer and throughout his long illness, spoke of the day he would standing in the presence of Jesus. He knew that eternity was coming and waited through pain and sickness, patient but eager to arrive in eternity. The repeated statements from my brother in the Lord have echoed in my head all week as I prepared to officiate his funeral. At the same time, I studied 2 Peter, which speaks of the Lord’s second coming and the renewal of all things. I couldn’t have picked a better text to preach following the funeral of a believer. Peter speaks about the necessity to wait on the Lord’s timing for his return and the necessity of preparing by serving and living holy. Peter wanted believers to celebrate and rejoice in the knowledge that the Lord would return, but also he wanted them to work and prepare for the day of His coming. We as believers are supposed to be a little like the folks who start listening to Christmas music on November 1st. No, we aren’t supposed to drive our neighbors and family members insane. Rather, we are supposed to have an eye on the day that is coming, when Jesus will return. That constant awareness of His return is to be joyful and it is to be a reminder. We must remember that the big day is coming, and we have important work to get done before it arrives. There are gifts to buy, invitations to send out, decorations to put up, lights to light, meals to plan, and a million other things to do before Christmas gets here, and we celebrate the coming of the Lord. In relation to the second coming, we don’t know the day or the hour and no one will know, but that doesn’t mean we don’t send invitations to our neighbors to prepare for the greatest celebration in the history of creation, when the Lord sets the world right. We have to light our lamps in the darkness and adorn the church with beautiful good works. We must do our best to clean up our world by bringing the Lord’s kingdom and encouraging His justice. In Peter’s letter, he says that in anticipation of the Lord’s return, we are to live holy lives. Simply put, we must be different. We must grow to be like Christ. We must keep an eye on the Lord’s return. This doesn’t mean that we obsess over comparing the words of Revelations with the evening news. We shouldn’t abandon our responsibilities as believers in the name of fixating on end times prophecy. Absolutely not. When Christ spoke of His return, He would compare it to workers in a household or vineyard who are given responsibilities while the master is away. When the master returned, they were rewarded or punished. We are to work diligently while we still can. The Lord is returning. Christmas is coming. Get ready. Invite your neighbors to the party. Sing praises of a God who will make the world right again. Be patient, but busy.

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07/31/2019
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Better Man Project, Biblical Manhood, Christianity, Church, Discipleship, Jesus, Religion

Training Hard for the Fight: A Pastor’s Guide

In recent years, I have found the habits of elite athletes and soldiers interesting. Guys who not only do physical things well, but at a level above everyone else in the world. I am not an athlete, but am starting to appreciate the habits and mindset of folks who are top-tier in their fields. One of the interesting things I have noticed about such people is that they maintain physical discipline even when they are not doing their jobs. A former Navy Seal I follow online talks about getting up early every day to train. This is a man who is no longer fighting wars on the battlefield, but sees his own training and discipline as non-negotiable. Football legend Herschel Walker continued to train hard whether he was playing ball, between seasons, or retired. Training isn’t seen as a component of his career. Rather, it is a way of life. Pushing yourself daily to exceed yesterday’s best is never questioned. These are folks who are elite athletes and warriors by nature, not just by vocation. I am never going to be an athlete or a warrior. I am a pastor. I live a different calling. I exercise hard every day because I want to be better. This new practice and reading about the habits of these men has helped me to realize something powerful. I study and meditate on scripture verses 8 to 9 hours a week so I can teach them on Sundays. I truly love this aspect of my work. However, I struggle with spending time daily reading and studying the same book for my own edification. I also struggle with the daily discipline of prayer. This morning, I realized something convicting. While the elite athletes and soldiers I’ve been reading about do their required trainings as a part of their work, they also do it as a part of their lives. These men get up, train, then go to work and train more. They do it because it is who they are, not because it is their job. I study because it is my job, but if I want to be a man of God, I must study and pray because it is in my nature to do so. I will never be at the elite level of pastorate. I don’t really know that such a thing exists and if it did, I definitely wouldn’t want anyone to refer to me as something like that. However, I love the folks under my pastoral care. I love my family. I love to teach and preach. I love the folks in my community. I love the folks who read my writings and listen to my preaching online. Most of all, I love the God I serve. If all of this is true, and not just something I say, it really ought to be in my nature to hunger for better. I should treat my spiritual state as though my personal spiritual growth will glorify God and minister to those around me. The higher the quality of my spiritual life, the better I will minister to the people I come into contact with. Prayer and personal study are not optional to a person who loves the folks they minister to. It is training. It is conditioning. It creates in us a state of readiness for the moment when we need to love someone we are angry at or forgive the sins of our neighbor. Pastors and brothers in Christ: we must train daily in study and prayer so we can be ready for the moment God calls us to serve. Prayer must be like running. We should do it so much it is natural to us to pray without ceasing. Study should be like lifting weights. It should create strength in us to handle anything we encounter. Paul put it best when he wrote to Timothy: “Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is valuable in every way, because it promises life both for the present and for the future.” Brothers, we must train to be better because it is in our nature.

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07/19/2019
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Better Man Project, Biblical Manhood, Christianity, Church, Discipleship, Jesus, Man Skills, Marriage, Parenting

Tin Men: A Perspective On Work and Love

I originally wrote this  for the Big Sandy Mountaineer in the Patching Cracks column. I have updated it for this setting.

Screen Shot 2019-07-19 at 8.33.32 AMI recently read the Wizard of Oz and was surprised at some of the differences between the film and the novel. The most interesting difference related to the story of the Tin Man, who started out as just an ordinary woodsman. The woodsman was cutting wood to earn money to buy a home for his fiancé, who he loved dearly. While he was working one day, he accidentally cut off his own leg, which he has replaced with a mechanical one. The same kind of accident claims his other leg and his arms, all of which he replaces with mechanical limbs. He discovers that he is able to work much better as a result of replacing his body parts with machine parts. Eventually, he loses his head and splits himself in half and becomes a fully mechanical man. Now he can work all day and all night without ever resting. The problem is that his heart is gone and he no longer cares about the woman he loves. All he cares about is working. Everything else is forgotten entirely.

This story is interesting because, despite being a children’s tale, it illustrates a sad phenomena that takes place all the time in our world. I have met many men who meet a woman, fall in love, get married, then work very hard to provide her with the best life he can give her. Those are great things. The tricky part is when the man becomes so engrossed in his work that he stops pursuing his wife. It’s easy to do because men are geared to work hard. It’s part of what gives life purpose. In fact, one of the first things God did when he created Adam was give him a job to do: naming animals and working in the garden. Work holds an important place in the male identity. The problem comes when he stops loving everything else. Work becomes his mistress and he leeches time from his wife and family in order to work more. Eventually he winds up struggling with restoring peace to his relationship when conflict inevitably arises as a result of the attention paid to work and not paid to his home life. This is a natural result of misaligned priorities.

In the story, the Tin Man believes he has no feelings, but in reality he does. He becomes emotional at different times, but avoids it because crying makes him rust. This is typically the case for men who fall in love with work. Feelings are hard to deal with and it’s easier to avoid them than to deal with them. When home life becomes difficult, he works harder and hides out at the office because the world there is easier and safer. I’ve known plenty of guys who are afraid of the emotional complexity of repairing their home situation and simply sit at their desks to solve the problem. They get the reward of achievement, financial benefits, and can point to their long hours “to provide for the family” when criticized for neglecting their wives. I’m not saying that working hard is wrong. However, I am arguing that marriage comes with its own set of responsibilities that do not evaporate at 9 AM on Monday. 

In reality, most men still love their wives and become easily frustrated when things don’t go smoothly at home. They want things to work right but can’t quite figure it out. Or, they work hard to provide for their families and don’t realize that they are forgetting the other things they are responsible for. Either way, work is a necessity and it’s easy to justify making it the number one priority in life. However, that is not the way God designed us to be. 

The solution to this issue in our lives is to acknowledge the importance of our family relationships and focus on them. Work is important, but it is not all-important. The cool thing about the book is that the wizard doesn’t actually do anything for the Tin Man. He just convinces him that he still loves his fiancé so that he will act like it again. The same is true of most men. They can fix their problems by simply acting like they love their wives: showing them attention, doing nice things for them, having conversations again, going on dates, and all the other stuff they did when they were dating. This is really just a matter of making our outward actions reflect our inward reality. It’s really not that hard to do. Most men did it well when they were younger. They just have to decide to do it again. I would suggest that this is encapsulated well in Paul’s direction to “love your wife like Christ loves the church.” Love her. Meet her needs. Put your own self second. Have a heart for loving and serving.

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