Tag Archives: Christian

A Different Take On Deborah and Women Pastors

“Woman Pastor” is a dynamite phrase. You can say it, tweet it, attach it to a post, or whatever and launch an explosive chain reaction. Boom goes the dynamite with enough concussive force that no one can hear what the other side is saying.

I usually spectate this brand of verbal blowup from a safe distance. The advantages of distance include avoiding shrapnel and taking a birds-eye-view of the fracas. This is not a change in approach. I am not offering my position in this essay. Sorry. Rather, I am sharing a moment of clarity I experienced.

While observing a recent exchange on the topic, I heard a Godly man, who I have a high opinion of, arguing against women pastors. His words stood out to me, though they are ones that I have heard before.

“Many people point to Deborah as an argument in favor of women in leadership, but they miss that the point in that situation was that men had failed to step up to their responsibility to lead. God appointed Deborah as an in insult to his people. They needed a woman to fight their battles.”

He is correct in his exegesis of the appointment of Deborah. The narrative of the book of Judges is about the progressive moral decline of God’s people. Deborah was able and faithful in a time and place where men were not. I’m the ancient world the events were pretty humiliating to the Israelites. It’s not a new read on the text.

However, as right as the exegesis is, the statement is potentially wrong.

I don’t say that lightly. God appointed Deborah to accomplish his will and to make a point. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t apply to the controversy today. In fact, we often get so wrapped up in arguing the the theological minutia of this point that we miss what’s happening in Deborah’s story: Men were abdicating their responsibility… so God appointed a woman.

Now, consider the church.

Are men teaching children the scriptures in Sunday school and VBS or is that something women do? Are there more men than women in Bible studies? What about in discipleship relationships? Are there more men than women in worship on Sunday mornings or do moms and grandmothers bring the kids to church while dad does something else? The hard truth is that we aren’t present. In fact, we are conspicuously absent. We insist that women fill all sorts of spiritual roles that are “beneath us” or that we don’t feel like doing.

Perhaps women are taking to the pulpits because we are sleeping in on Sunday mornings and refusing to teach. Maybe they are leading because we aren’t.

When Jesus entered the east gate of the temple and the crowds praised him, the pharisees grumbled at the praise. Jesus replied that “If they remain silent, the stones themselves will cry out.” We are living in a time when men are growing increasingly silent. The truth is that men are disappearing from churches. We’re abandoning spiritual leadership and have been doing so since Adam watched Eve enduring temptation and said nothing. (Read it! He was right there. He did nothing.) When confronted by God he blamed Eve and the Almighty.

Now, I know folks will point to the various texts where Paul forbids women in different roles. I am not having that conversation. Though, I will say that we must ask us if silence in the pulpit is a greater or lesser matter of the law than women leading.

If the stones will cry out in worship if the people remained silent rather than praising, perhaps it’s reasonable that women might preach the gospel when the hearts of men become cold stones. Ultimately, is it worse for women to preach or for no-one to preach at all? Which is the greater and lesser matter of the law?

I am not claiming that every female standing up front is Deborah. What I am claiming is that in many places, if it wasn’t for women preaching the gospel, the pulpit would be silent. If not for moms and grandmas teaching kids to pray and about Jesus, they wouldn’t learn it at all. We aren’t leading. Or worse, we try to “lead” in selfish, unbiblical, and unchristian ways.

Men, we own this if we are not stepping up ourselves. If we condemn women who step in the gap without urging our brothers to step up to fill empty pulpits, Sunday school classrooms, and spiritual leadership in our own homes we strain out a gnat and swallow a camel. We need to check our hearts. What if this is happening to shame us for our inaction?

Please note: I’m not saying it’s right or wrong for women to pastor. I’m saying we’ve missed the point of Deborah’s story and the gospel must be preached.

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A Different Take On Deborah and Women Pastors

“Woman Pastor” is a dynamite phrase. You can say it, tweet it, attach it to a post, or whatever and launch an explosive chain reaction. Boom goes the dynamite with enough concussive force that no one can hear what the other side is saying.

I usually spectate this brand of verbal blowup from a safe distance. The advantages of distance include avoiding shrapnel and taking a birds-eye-view of the fracas. This is not a change in approach. I am not offering my position in this essay. Sorry. Rather, I am sharing a moment of clarity I experienced.

While observing a recent exchange on the topic, I heard a Godly man, who I have a high opinion of, arguing against women pastors. His words stood out to me, though they are ones that I have heard before.

“Many people point to Deborah as an argument in favor of women in leadership, but they miss that the point in that situation was that men had failed to step up to their responsibility to lead. God appointed Deborah as an in insult to his people. They needed a woman to fight their battles.”

He is correct in his exegesis of the appointment of Deborah. The narrative of the book of Judges is about the progressive moral decline of God’s people. Deborah was able and faithful in a time and place where men were not. I’m the ancient world the events were pretty humiliating to the Israelites. It’s not a new read on the text.

However, as right as the exegesis is, the statement is potentially wrong.

I don’t say that lightly. God appointed Deborah to accomplish his will and to make a point. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t apply to the controversy today. In fact, we often get so wrapped up in arguing the the theological minutia of this point that we miss what’s happening in Deborah’s story: Men were abdicating their responsibility… so God appointed a woman.

Now, consider the church.

Are men teaching children the scriptures in Sunday school and VBS or is that something women do? Are there more men than women in Bible studies? What about in discipleship relationships? Are there more men than women in worship on Sunday mornings or do moms and grandmothers bring the kids to church while dad does something else? The hard truth is that we aren’t present. In fact, we are conspicuously absent. We insist that women fill all sorts of spiritual roles that are “beneath us” or that we don’t feel like doing.

Perhaps women are taking to the pulpits because we are sleeping in on Sunday mornings and refusing to teach. Maybe they are leading because we aren’t.

When Jesus entered the east gate of the temple and the crowds praised him, the pharisees grumbled at the praise. Jesus replied that “If they remain silent, the stones themselves will cry out.” We are living in a time when men are growing increasingly silent. The truth is that men are disappearing from churches. We re abandoning spiritual leadership and have been doing so since Adam watched Eve enduring temptation and said nothing. (Read it! He was right there. He did nothing.) When confronted by God he blamed Eve and the Almighty.

Now, I know folks will point to the various texts where Paul forbids women in different roles. I am not having that conversation. Though, I will say that we must ask us if silence in the pulpit is a greater or lesser matter of the law than women leading.

If the stones will cry out in worship if the people remained silent rather than praising, perhaps it’s reasonable that women might preach the gospel when the hearts of men become cold stones. Ultimately, is it worse for women to preach or for no-one to preach at all? Which is the greater and lesser matter of the law?

I am not claiming that every female standing up front is Deborah. What I am claiming is that in many places, if it wasn’t for women preaching the gospel, the pulpit would be silent. If not for moms and grandmas teaching kids to pray and about Jesus, they wouldn’t learn it at all. We aren’t leading. Or worse, we try to “lead” in selfish, unbiblical, and unchristian ways.

Men, we own this if we are not stepping up ourselves. If we condemn women who step in the gap without urging our brothers to step up to fill empty pulpits, Sunday school classrooms, and spiritual leadership in our own homes we strain out a gnat and swallow a camel. We need to check our hearts. What if this is happening to shame us for our inaction?

Please note: I’m not saying it’s right or wrong for women to pastor. I’m saying we’ve missed the point of Deborah’s story and the gospel must be preached.

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My Life As a Dog: A Reflection

While studying this morning, I watched my wife’s puppy diligently working to get dog food out of the older dog’s crate. The two dogs eat different foods and she always wants to eat what he is eating… Over the course of an hour she worked her way around the cage and did her best to grab what she can. In fact, she managed to get a few pieces of food in the process and eventually pulled the other dog’s bowl to the edge of the crate so she could steal directly from it.

Why am I sharing this? First, it is cute and funny. Second, as I am sitting up (early in the morning) to study and reflect before the day starts and the kids get up, I kinda think I am a bit like the dog (though maybe not enough like her). I am up looking, scratching around,and digging for a bit of wisdom, understanding, or spiritual maturity. The thing is, it is often just out of reach. BUT, if I dig persistently enough I end up with a morsel or two in the process. I rarely figure out how to get the whole bowl all at once, but I grow in bits and pieces. It just takes work. Maybe the kernels of truth taste better if I have to work for it… I guess my point is that spiritual maturity, depth, and wisdom is not an instant venture. We sorta need to be single minded in our pursuit of it in order to acquire what we are chasing…

There is another side to this coin. I don’t give her the other dog’s food because it isn’t good for her. She is still growing, and the wrong kind of food can mess her up in the long run. In that respect, the dog is a lot like me when my sinful heart gets set on something that God has purposefully locked out of my reach. I will continue to work at it, in my fallenness, trying to get what I can because I think that what is new and exciting and different and forbidden will make me happy. In the end, the things I am trying to get aren’t going to do anything but mess me up. The puppy cannot seem to stop and think: Maybe this cage is here for a reason… maybe I should eat what is given to me and ignore what isn’t for me. Of course, dogs don’t think that way… and neither do I when sin has grabbed the wheel and is steering me where I shouldn’t go.

That was my weird reflection for the morning while drinking coffee and trying to study 2 Timothy. Hope y’all’s day is good… chase wisdom with an abiding hunger… Avoid the things the Lord has set apart from you for your own good.

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Being Jesus in the Pandemic

Reprinted with the permission of the Big Sandy Mountaineer.

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In 165 AD, an epidemic swept through the Roman Empire, ravaging the western world for 15 years. The disease may have been smallpox, though it’s difficult to say with any certainty. Regardless of the nature of the illness, the result was devastating. Around a third of the population of Rome died. The population was justifiably terrified of the horrible illness. The wealthier amongst the Roman citizenry simply sequestered themselves in their country homes for years, while the poorer members of the population fled cities or did their best to ride out the illness. One of the worst practices of the time was for families to push members out into the streets when the first of the symptoms arose, figuring it was better for them to die in the streets than to infect the entire household. Ancient witnesses describe streets piled high with the dying as a result of this brutal practice. During this time, the early church responded in a completely different manner. Followers of Jesus believed in an afterlife in heaven and in their responsibility to care for the poor. This was a stark contrast to the belief of their pagan neighbors. Christians simply weren’t afraid of the disease because they believed that to die was to be with Christ, all the better if you died serving Him. The work of early believers to provide basic care to the sick resulted in the saving of countless lives. Medical historians have estimated that the basic care provided was enough to save two thirds of the recipients, most of whom became too weak to do even basic self care. The actions of the early church in caring for the sick and dying was a major contributor to the explosion of growth of Christianity in the 2nd century. I would argue that there is an important set of lessons to be learned from their example. The early church didn’t live in fear of the plague. Certainly, many were afraid, but they did not allow their fear to control them. They saw their obligation to serve Jesus as the first and foremost of their responsibilities. I believe this is our calling for the time we are living in. Mind you, I am not advocating being stupid and acting as though we are completely safe from getting sick. This isn’t wise or Biblical. We need to take precautions because we don’t want to give anything to our family or neighbors. In addition, our actions reflect on the God we serve. That having been said, we shouldn’t be afraid to serve our neighbors either. This life is not all there is for us, and we have instructions as to how we are to live. I read recently that food banks in bigger cities are struggling to meet their obligations because they simply don’t have enough people who are willing to help serve the constantly growing lines of people who need food. Many of us have neighbors who are alone and isolated because they lack family to reach out or care for them in this time. Our calling as followers of Jesus is to help where we can. John Wesley once said that we are to:  “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.” This might mean giving up some of our stockpile of toilet paper or sharing of our finances with a neighbor who can’t work and isn’t sure how they’re going to make rent. It may mean calling a shut in, dropping off food on a doorstep if only to brighten a neighbors day, or all manner of other things. Perhaps it means giving your hand sanitizer to someone who has to go to work every day. Find ways to serve. I’m so blessed when I see folks making masks for their neighbors and then giving them away. Perhaps this involves not calling each other names on Facebook because our neighbors doesn’t hold the same belief regarding the right way for the country to go forward. No matter what is involved in serving Jesus in the pandemic, this is a time when we shouldn’t allow fear to control our actions. We shouldn’t be foolish and act as though we cannot get sick. We shouldn’t use our freedom for selfish ends. We should take the instructions of our governing authorities seriously, which is addressed thoroughly in the New Testament. We should love and care for our neighbors. Be the face, voice, and hands of Jesus for our neighbors in this time of trial.

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Christmas Music In November and the Apocalypse

This morning, in an effort to recognize the first week of November, I played Christmas music loudly on the stereo in our living room. My wife was driven nuts by it and repeatedly admonished me about the inappropriateness of starting Christmas 2 months early. I didn’t point out that I was playing Christmas music a couple weeks after stores started selling Christmas junk, but I digress. I will confess that I am not a rabidly cheerful Christmas guy, but I love driving my wife nuts. Also, it clicked in my head that there’s a cool parallel to what I am preaching on this morning. You see, my sermon prep and work life have been very difficult and emotional this week. I did a funeral for a friend yesterday and am preaching on 2 Peter 3:8-14 this morning. My friend was a believer and throughout his long illness, spoke of the day he would standing in the presence of Jesus. He knew that eternity was coming and waited through pain and sickness, patient but eager to arrive in eternity. The repeated statements from my brother in the Lord have echoed in my head all week as I prepared to officiate his funeral. At the same time, I studied 2 Peter, which speaks of the Lord’s second coming and the renewal of all things. I couldn’t have picked a better text to preach following the funeral of a believer. Peter speaks about the necessity to wait on the Lord’s timing for his return and the necessity of preparing by serving and living holy. Peter wanted believers to celebrate and rejoice in the knowledge that the Lord would return, but also he wanted them to work and prepare for the day of His coming. We as believers are supposed to be a little like the folks who start listening to Christmas music on November 1st. No, we aren’t supposed to drive our neighbors and family members insane. Rather, we are supposed to have an eye on the day that is coming, when Jesus will return. That constant awareness of His return is to be joyful and it is to be a reminder. We must remember that the big day is coming, and we have important work to get done before it arrives. There are gifts to buy, invitations to send out, decorations to put up, lights to light, meals to plan, and a million other things to do before Christmas gets here, and we celebrate the coming of the Lord. In relation to the second coming, we don’t know the day or the hour and no one will know, but that doesn’t mean we don’t send invitations to our neighbors to prepare for the greatest celebration in the history of creation, when the Lord sets the world right. We have to light our lamps in the darkness and adorn the church with beautiful good works. We must do our best to clean up our world by bringing the Lord’s kingdom and encouraging His justice. In Peter’s letter, he says that in anticipation of the Lord’s return, we are to live holy lives. Simply put, we must be different. We must grow to be like Christ. We must keep an eye on the Lord’s return. This doesn’t mean that we obsess over comparing the words of Revelations with the evening news. We shouldn’t abandon our responsibilities as believers in the name of fixating on end times prophecy. Absolutely not. When Christ spoke of His return, He would compare it to workers in a household or vineyard who are given responsibilities while the master is away. When the master returned, they were rewarded or punished. We are to work diligently while we still can. The Lord is returning. Christmas is coming. Get ready. Invite your neighbors to the party. Sing praises of a God who will make the world right again. Be patient, but busy.

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Training Hard for the Fight: A Pastor’s Guide

In recent years, I have found the habits of elite athletes and soldiers interesting. Guys who not only do physical things well, but at a level above everyone else in the world. I am not an athlete, but am starting to appreciate the habits and mindset of folks who are top-tier in their fields. One of the interesting things I have noticed about such people is that they maintain physical discipline even when they are not doing their jobs. A former Navy Seal I follow online talks about getting up early every day to train. This is a man who is no longer fighting wars on the battlefield, but sees his own training and discipline as non-negotiable. Football legend Herschel Walker continued to train hard whether he was playing ball, between seasons, or retired. Training isn’t seen as a component of his career. Rather, it is a way of life. Pushing yourself daily to exceed yesterday’s best is never questioned. These are folks who are elite athletes and warriors by nature, not just by vocation. I am never going to be an athlete or a warrior. I am a pastor. I live a different calling. I exercise hard every day because I want to be better. This new practice and reading about the habits of these men has helped me to realize something powerful. I study and meditate on scripture verses 8 to 9 hours a week so I can teach them on Sundays. I truly love this aspect of my work. However, I struggle with spending time daily reading and studying the same book for my own edification. I also struggle with the daily discipline of prayer. This morning, I realized something convicting. While the elite athletes and soldiers I’ve been reading about do their required trainings as a part of their work, they also do it as a part of their lives. These men get up, train, then go to work and train more. They do it because it is who they are, not because it is their job. I study because it is my job, but if I want to be a man of God, I must study and pray because it is in my nature to do so. I will never be at the elite level of pastorate. I don’t really know that such a thing exists and if it did, I definitely wouldn’t want anyone to refer to me as something like that. However, I love the folks under my pastoral care. I love my family. I love to teach and preach. I love the folks in my community. I love the folks who read my writings and listen to my preaching online. Most of all, I love the God I serve. If all of this is true, and not just something I say, it really ought to be in my nature to hunger for better. I should treat my spiritual state as though my personal spiritual growth will glorify God and minister to those around me. The higher the quality of my spiritual life, the better I will minister to the people I come into contact with. Prayer and personal study are not optional to a person who loves the folks they minister to. It is training. It is conditioning. It creates in us a state of readiness for the moment when we need to love someone we are angry at or forgive the sins of our neighbor. Pastors and brothers in Christ: we must train daily in study and prayer so we can be ready for the moment God calls us to serve. Prayer must be like running. We should do it so much it is natural to us to pray without ceasing. Study should be like lifting weights. It should create strength in us to handle anything we encounter. Paul put it best when he wrote to Timothy: “Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is valuable in every way, because it promises life both for the present and for the future.” Brothers, we must train to be better because it is in our nature.

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Tin Men: A Perspective On Work and Love

I originally wrote this  for the Big Sandy Mountaineer in the Patching Cracks column. I have updated it for this setting.

Screen Shot 2019-07-19 at 8.33.32 AMI recently read the Wizard of Oz and was surprised at some of the differences between the film and the novel. The most interesting difference related to the story of the Tin Man, who started out as just an ordinary woodsman. The woodsman was cutting wood to earn money to buy a home for his fiancé, who he loved dearly. While he was working one day, he accidentally cut off his own leg, which he has replaced with a mechanical one. The same kind of accident claims his other leg and his arms, all of which he replaces with mechanical limbs. He discovers that he is able to work much better as a result of replacing his body parts with machine parts. Eventually, he loses his head and splits himself in half and becomes a fully mechanical man. Now he can work all day and all night without ever resting. The problem is that his heart is gone and he no longer cares about the woman he loves. All he cares about is working. Everything else is forgotten entirely.

This story is interesting because, despite being a children’s tale, it illustrates a sad phenomena that takes place all the time in our world. I have met many men who meet a woman, fall in love, get married, then work very hard to provide her with the best life he can give her. Those are great things. The tricky part is when the man becomes so engrossed in his work that he stops pursuing his wife. It’s easy to do because men are geared to work hard. It’s part of what gives life purpose. In fact, one of the first things God did when he created Adam was give him a job to do: naming animals and working in the garden. Work holds an important place in the male identity. The problem comes when he stops loving everything else. Work becomes his mistress and he leeches time from his wife and family in order to work more. Eventually he winds up struggling with restoring peace to his relationship when conflict inevitably arises as a result of the attention paid to work and not paid to his home life. This is a natural result of misaligned priorities.

In the story, the Tin Man believes he has no feelings, but in reality he does. He becomes emotional at different times, but avoids it because crying makes him rust. This is typically the case for men who fall in love with work. Feelings are hard to deal with and it’s easier to avoid them than to deal with them. When home life becomes difficult, he works harder and hides out at the office because the world there is easier and safer. I’ve known plenty of guys who are afraid of the emotional complexity of repairing their home situation and simply sit at their desks to solve the problem. They get the reward of achievement, financial benefits, and can point to their long hours “to provide for the family” when criticized for neglecting their wives. I’m not saying that working hard is wrong. However, I am arguing that marriage comes with its own set of responsibilities that do not evaporate at 9 AM on Monday. 

In reality, most men still love their wives and become easily frustrated when things don’t go smoothly at home. They want things to work right but can’t quite figure it out. Or, they work hard to provide for their families and don’t realize that they are forgetting the other things they are responsible for. Either way, work is a necessity and it’s easy to justify making it the number one priority in life. However, that is not the way God designed us to be. 

The solution to this issue in our lives is to acknowledge the importance of our family relationships and focus on them. Work is important, but it is not all-important. The cool thing about the book is that the wizard doesn’t actually do anything for the Tin Man. He just convinces him that he still loves his fiancé so that he will act like it again. The same is true of most men. They can fix their problems by simply acting like they love their wives: showing them attention, doing nice things for them, having conversations again, going on dates, and all the other stuff they did when they were dating. This is really just a matter of making our outward actions reflect our inward reality. It’s really not that hard to do. Most men did it well when they were younger. They just have to decide to do it again. I would suggest that this is encapsulated well in Paul’s direction to “love your wife like Christ loves the church.” Love her. Meet her needs. Put your own self second. Have a heart for loving and serving.

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Faking Manliness: A Response to a Common Trope in Christian Manliness Literature

 

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This morning I overslept. I wasn’t late for an obligation or anything, rather I didn’t get up as early as I wanted to in order to achieve my morning goals. I went to the gym and felt tired. I don’t know whether it was because I was unmotivated, dehydrated, or something else. I finished my workout, but I didn’t go as hard as I wanted to. I got less done for work in the morning than I wanted, though I did get some things done. I just sorta fell short of my goal. While taking my son to swim lessons, I read an essay on pushing yourself to create the type of person you want to be and I felt convicted. Still, my physical state was dragging. My spirit was willing, but my flesh was weak. This often seems like the case when I set lofty goals: I eventually lack the time, energy, or will to achieve them. I am not great at being perfect.

My morning devotions dealt with Paul being the chief of sinners. It struck me that Paul worked harder than anyone else around him to achieve righteousness under his own steam. Yet he still failed. He later said that all his efforts were a pile of trash next to knowing Christ. In Romans 7 he acknowledged his daily struggles to overcome sin. Still he pushed hard and confessed that it was only Christ in him that made him good and righteous.

Now my morning focus turned to the manhood movement within evangelicalism and the larger point of my essay. Scrolling twitter, I came across a post from a pastor trying to shame guys into overcoming any softness in their lives. It was obvious he wants men to reach a lofty state of manliness that he has decided is the target of all believers. It was condescending, self-righteous, and unbiblical. He tried to coat it with a religious veneer, but it was a thin veil. He basically told men: Do not be soft, dependent on others, or effeminate in any way. To do so is to fail as a Christian man. It had the feel of a Christianized 300 speech. Part of what troubled me is that the type of manliness the pastor was describing is not unheard of in Christian circles. Lots of male focused Christian literature and influencers push this narrative that men should rule their homes with an iron fist, never feel emotions, shed weakness, and fight the world. The problem is that for anyone to try to live that way is purely playacting. 6846443501_7627be2b7c_b.jpgThere is no authenticity to it. If manliness is all about eschewing “softness” or any kind of personal weakness, it is a form of farce. It eliminates wide swaths of men from the contention of manliness and rewards virtues that don’t really make a man.King David wouldn’t even qualify, because although he was a fierce warrior he was also a poet. He danced before the Ark. He wept. He had close friends who he loved. He wore his dependance on God as a badge of honor. He was a man of steel and velvet. He was also sinful. 

If my manliness is derived from my ability to get up early, bring it at the gym harder than anyone else, achieve more at work, or whatever, I will always be reaching for a ring that is unattainable. My flesh and the reality of my physical limitations are always going to get in the way. I am a cracked clay pot. I can push forever, but never be “good enough” because good enough is a shifting goal post. There’s always something more. My righteousness, toughness, and discipline will always be insufficient. Or worse, they will become a point of pride that will serve as a stumbling block to myself or those around me. Paul realized that. He worked to be like Jesus, acknowledged his struggles to hit the mark, and owned his shortfalls. I think that is what I want to be. I want to be a man, doing his best to be like Jesus. I want to love my wife like Christ loved the church. Teach my son to be like Jesus. Preach the Gospel and faithful explain the scriptures to the best of my ability. Still, I am going to be unfocused and soft sometimes. I’m going to act like a selfish child when my flesh overcomes me. If I fall short but I am a tool in the hands of my master I will consider it a win. If I’m not manly enough or disciplined enough or holy enough, then the good things I do are despite my weakness and point to the fact that Christ can still work through a broken tool. When I tried to be the best and to never deal with my weaknesses, it drove me to drink and wreck everyone around me. I will try hard and Christ will do the rest. If I am weak, he is strong. If I am boasting in anything, it won’t be my manliness or toughness or anything else. It’ll be in Christ alone.

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Faking Spirituality

I wrote this piece for my weekly column. It was originally published in the Big Sandy Mountaineer in June of 2015.

One of the worst sins I’ve ever committed was actually committed over several years. During my early years working in ministry, I pretended to be perfect. When I left for work every day, I put on my “perfect Christian” mask. I hid any struggle with sin, temptation, and anger. I made excuses and ignored my own shortcomings. Eventually, I stopped talking openly with anyone about anything that might look un-Christian in my life. When I taught, the only sins I ever acknowledged were innocuous, like driving too fast, which is an imperfection of mine that’s well known to any reader of this paper’s traffic ticket listings. I believed that perfection was expected of minsters, and because I wasn’t perfect, I faked it. It may seem excessive to identify this as a terrible sin, but it is because it is a denial of the central message of Christianity: that all people sin and need forgiveness. Pretending to be perfect is self-deceiving and denies our need for God. Beyond distancing us from God, it also drives others away from Him, either because they see our hypocrisy or they see being “good enough” as unattainable.

The saddest misconception about Christianity that drives folks away from knowing God exists primarily amongst Christians: the myth of perfection. Whereas the previous columns in this series have largely addressed those who walk away from God in frustration/hurt, this week will primarily address folks in the church who believe this falsehood.

Believing we are, or ought to be, perfect is spiritual poison. When we look at the life of Jesus, there is no-one that he strikes out against more vehemently than religious folks, specifically the Pharisees, who couldn’t see or confess their own failings. Most were so convinced of their own perfection that they couldn’t ask for forgiveness because they didn’t believe they needed it. They lived for the praise of others, thrived on comparing themselves to “sinners”, and constantly bragged of their righteousness. This puffing up results in blindness to the seriousness of our own sins.

False perfection is also poisonous to relationships. Maintaining the illusion of perfection keeps us from confessing or seeking help. While living this way, I often wished I could talk about my struggles, but wouldn’t do so because I did’t want anyone to know how imperfect I am. Hiding secrets isolates us. Conversely, openness and accountability knits us together in community, because calling on each other in times of need teaches trust and interdependence.

The most profound lesson I learned from being open happened when I talked openly about struggling with sin while teaching one day. A young man approached me afterward, tearfully opening up about his own struggles. He thanked me for being honest, because he too had been hiding everything for fear of being condemned by others. Being vulnerable provides a safe environment for others to be vulnerable. The most common response I hear to openness about my own imperfection is appreciation for being real and human.

Living life- honestly acknowledging our imperfection- is risky. It’s possible that others will judge or ostracize you for being a sinner. I discussed with a friend how tempting it is to want other Christians to be human, but not too human. It’s easy to succumb to the temptation to believe that God should forgive our brand of sin, but not the sin of others. This is the power of acknowledging our imperfection/dependance on God’s forgiveness. It emphasizes God’s mercy, rather than our self-righteousness. This makes judging others harder to justify. Awareness of our dependance helps us empathize with others in the same predicament.

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Better Man Project: 7 Things I’ve Learned From Reading More


I write a newspaper column entitled Patching Cracks for the local paper. Every January, I write a column on New Year’s Resolutions exploring the concept behind the practice, the reason most resolutions fail to enact lasting change, and how to improve the odds of a successful resolution. This year, I had a crazy realization. I haven’t ever made a resolution. I’ve written about the practice for years without actually trying it on for size. This year, I resolved to make severalresolutions and to try out my own advice. One of my goals for the year was to read more. However, “more” is pretty nebulous and failing to set a target to hit is the first step to failing altogether. So, I set a high, but attainable goal: I will read 52 books in 2016. Teddy Roosevelt read 2 to 3 books a day, so I figure I can manage to read one a week. Mind you, these are not just any books. I am reading 52 books that will expand me in some way. I love novels, but I don’t want to come to the end without becoming a better man. All of the my reading choices are non-fiction and focused on a topic that relates to me growing as a person. Nearly 6 months into the year, I’ve read nearly 30 books, mostly theology, Bible, counseling, manhood, marriage, or parenting focused. Beyond what I have learned from reading more in general, the effort of reading toward a goal has taught me a few things about reading that are worth sharing. 

  • Reading more has impacted everything. The reading I am doing has worked its way into almost every area of life. My preaching and teaching is the most obvious. Material from books, whether it is directly related or not, has found application as illustrations, examples, and anecdotes. It has given me more to converse about as well. Filling my head with new information day after day has given me new things to discuss with my wife and friends. Reading more has also helped me analyze more effectively. I suspect this is because the brain is a little like a muscle. The more you work it, the better it works. Oddly enough, reading before bed, in lieu of watching television, has even helped me sleep better. 
  • Reading daily has taught me about time and effort. I sort of understood the concepts behind time and effort already, but the illustration was more vivid. I am a slow reader. For whatever reason, I read slower than most other adults I know. I was unsure if I could read 1 book a week because it would likely take me way too long. Oddly enough, slow reading for an hour or so every day adds up. The trick is putting the time in to do it.  
  • Interest is vital. There are about half a dozen books I have started and given up on because I couldn’t make myself interested in the topic. I gave up on a great church management book because it was too dry to consume. I resisted this urge at first because having invested enough time to read half a book makes me want to keep going so I can add it to my total. The problem is that consuming boring material makes it so the completion of the book takes even longer. I can read an entire book that I enjoy in the time it takes to read a fourth of a dull book. 
  • The more I read, the easier it got. I have 2 Master’s Degrees. Reading is something I have done more than a little of in my lifetime. However, I never noticed how much easier it was to sit down and actually do it when I was doing it regularly. Not reading made it harder to read. Reading a few hours every morning made it easier to sit down and read in the evening instead of watching television. I have found it easier to read as a leisure activity. In addition to the non-fiction books I read as a part of hitting my goal, I have read half a dozen novels. I don’t count these toward my total. I just enjoyed reading them. It was easier to do after spending so much time reading toward my goal.  
  • There are all sorts of options for reading. I have an Audible subscription that nets me one audiobook a month. I also have an app called Overdrive that lets me check out e-books and audiobooks from the county library. I have found that working through audiobooks while driving, cleaning, mowing, walking the dog, or while at the gym works as well for me as music. Further, there is some material that I do better with when it is in audiobook format. As a rule, Kindle books and e-books are cheaper and easier to carry around. Also, I glance at my iPhone to check Facebook and Twitter regularly. Reading a couple of pages on a lighter topic is just as easy to do and less of a waste of time. 
  • Making time for reading is vital. There are so many things to get done in the average day. Work, family, and chores alone consume an enormous amount of time. I have to decide to spend time reading and schedule it in. Often, this means getting up early and reading before anyone else is awake. I am not a morning person. I had to work up to this by setting my alarm 30 minutes early, then an hour early, etc. It’s also easy to fit a half hour of reading in at bedtime or a few pages during lunch. 
  • Setting a daily goal helps. It’s easier to hit a target when you have a target to aim for. I found that I did better at reading consistently when I set a goal of 25 or 50 pages a day. I also do well with time goals, like reading 30 minutes before bed. In addition, daily goals make the task seem less daunting. It sounds easier to read 25 pages a day than 1 book a week. 

The goal of reading more started out as a way to test my own advice. However, six months into the experiment, I am finding that expanding myself through reading has been more than worth the effort. It has helped me advance my larger aspiration in life: becoming a better man.   

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